Choice &
Accountability
September 29, 2002
by Ron
Cluff
Several
years ago as we met in our weekly Bishopric Meeting, Gary Pomeroy made the
following statement: If everyone is victim, who are the perpetrators? This
intriguing question provokes other related questions; who are victims, if
in fact there are any victims; who are perpetrators? When and how does one qualify for victim rights;
what impact does the atonement have on individual responsibility and accountability?
I have pondered Gary’s statement over and over
again while driving to and from work, during interviews, and while listening
to Sacrament meeting talks. It has wakened me during the early hours of the
morning and preoccupied my mind during fervent prayer. At length, I have been impressed to share some
of my insights and feelings with each of you, that together we can explore
the underlying principles and learn more about what appears to be a vexing
problem in our modern society, especially among members of the church. It is entirely possible that these reoccurring
promptings are intended only for my own edification, to correct my own weaknesses,
but I believe this concept appears to have universal application to all of
God’s Children.
Perhaps
the best way to begin this discussion is to share a personal experience that
occurred this past summer while attempting to mow the grass in my backyard.
The story will be more meaningful if I give you a little background
on my life during the teenage years. During
summer vacations from school I worked on a large farm in the parched northwest
plateau of New Mexico, where virtually no crops are grown without irrigation. My routine for the first 3-4 hours each morning
was moving sprinkler systems. That
was followed by the much hotter, dirtier, and exhausting experience of loading
hay, or “bucking hay” for transport to the reservation. In both instances we worked with small gas-powered
engines that were subject to constant abuse from farming operations.
To make a long story short, I became proficient at starting, lubricating,
adjusting, and fixing small engines. So
last summer when my new lawnmower failed to start, I was very confidant the
problem could be fixed in short order. I
began a systematic check of the fuel, oil, and air filter to determine what
was not working. After cleaning the air filter, I attempted to
start the engine again. It sputtered
for a while and died. I thought all
right, it must be a fuel problem. I
removed the gas tank, cleaned the grass out of the screen, cleaned the choke,
and attempted a second start. Same result, the mower sputtered and died. Very logically I determined that if it wasn’t
related to fuel or combustion air, it must be the spark plug or an electrical
problem. So I attempted to fix the plug, and experienced the same failure. Three hours lapsed, and nothing that I tried
fixed the problem. Undaunted, I cleaned
the oil and grime off my hands and drove to the retailer where I bought the
mower and purchased some replacement parts, just in case there was something
wrong with the original parts. That
also turned out to be a waste of time and money.
I considered taking the mower to a small engine repair shop, but quickly
decided against that option when I called and determined that most of the
local mechanics charge a minimum of $75.00 per hour and had a four to 6-week
turnaround time for repairs. Sometimes
small engines can be restarted if you let them sit for a while. Not this mower.
Now
comes the part of this story that each of you should recognize. Open expression of irritation, whining about
shoddy manufacturing, some whacking, and denial of any personal responsibility.
The whining phase lasted for several days during which the grass in
my back yard continued to grow even higher.
In desperation, I finally decided to visit the Sears lawnmower shop
next to my office in Overland Park. I asked the
middle-aged woman behind the counter for a cost estimate and a schedule to
have my mower repaired. She in turn
asked for a brief description of the problems with the mower to give to the
mechanic. I was happy to share my frustration
with her. Before I could finish my
complaint, very calmly she said, “It sounds like you have bad gasoline in
the tank.” I’m thinking, right lady,
you haven’t even seen my lousy lawn mower, what do you know, how could you
even question my superior mechanical skills and years of experience with small
engines. In the end, the $115.00 estimate
to fix my mower enabled me to swallow my pride and give her idea a chance.
That evening, I returned to the task or repairing my mower.
I purchased new fuel, replaced the gasoline in the tank, and pulled
the cord. Amazingly, the mower started
immediately and has been running perfectly ever since.
Now
with hindsight, we can objectively evaluate what really happened during this
experience. First and foremost
you will notice there was never anything wrong with my new lawnmower.
The singular problem was my failure to fill the fuel tank with
good quality gasoline. Second,
all of my prior experience, training, knowledge of small engines and perceived
competence did not enable Ron the tool man Cluff to fix the problem…in fact,
it contributed to my blindness. Third,
not being able to fix my own problem, I chose whining, disclaiming personal
responsibility, and blaming others. I
promoted myself to the status of victim. Fourth,
my frustration, anger, and victim status, effectively wasted a lot of time
and did not resolve the problem. Fifth,
and this is a critical point, the solution was always within my control, it
came only when I was sufficiently humble to recognize my own failure and ask
for help. In this instance,
the experience I have related was limited to my internal struggle and a red
chunk of metal in my backyard. I am satisfied, however, that we approach conflicts
with each other in much the same way.
In
2 Nephi 2:27 we read the words of the Prophet Lehi to his son Jacob; “Wherefore
men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are
expedient unto man, And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life,
through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and power of
the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.”
I want to pose these questions for thought; what is it about life on earth
that makes it so challenging for each of us to recognize and accept personal
accountability? Why are we blind to
our own faults and so eager to blame others?
Genesis 3: 8-11-
“And they heard the voice of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool
of the day; and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the
Lord God amongst the trees of the garden.
And the Lord God called unto Adam, and said unto him, where art thou?
And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I
was naked; and I hid myself. And he
said, who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou
eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat?”
This
direct questioning by the Lord appears to have made our first parents very
uneasy. Adam could have offered any
number of reasons or excuses why he took the fruit. He could have said:
What
I would expect Adam to say, the man who walked and talked with God, one of
the architects who participated in the creation of the world who held the
honored position of being the first man on earth, was simply, “I was wrong, I’m sorry, it will never happen
again.”
Listen
to Adam’s immediate response, “The woman thou gavest to be with me, she gave
me of the tree.” Think about his response.
It seems apparent Adam is rationalizing his sinful behavior, trying
to shift the responsibility to his wife Eve.
Now Eve has an opportunity to be a better man than Adam. Eve’s response to the same questioning, however,
“the serpent beguiled me, and I did eat” is also pretty lame. The tendency of mortals to deny personal accountability
seems to be evident from the very beginning.
I recently came across an article by Anne Poelman entitled
“The Dog Ate the Homework’ and Other Not-So-Cool Excuses.” She relates, “We
are in serious danger of becoming a society of whining, finger-pointing, blame-shifting,
excuse-making victims. In the headlong rush to eliminate all politically
incorrect terminology… some segments of society have adopted the kind of squishy
thinking and lax language that disclaims personal responsibility and excuses
errant behavior as an acceptable variation within the broad spectrum of normality.”
A "Calvin and Hobbes" comic strip by Cartoonist
Bill Watterson captures the popular victim movement. The dialogue between
Calvin and Hobbes, his imaginary, tiger-like companion, goes something like
this:
Calvin first complains, "Nothing I do is my fault."
Spreading his arms wide, he exclaims to a puzzled-looking Hobbes, "My
family is dysfunctional and my parents won't empower me! Consequently, I'm
not self-actualized! He continues. "I need holistic healing and wellness
before I'll accept any responsibility for my actions!"
Hobbes replies, "One of us needs to stick his head in a bucket
of ice water."
The comic strip ends as Calvin concludes with evident
satisfaction, "I love the culture of victimhood."
In
primary we teach our children the important truths contained in the 13 articles
of Faith. I liked the 2nd
article of faith, because it is short and easy to memorize. “We believe that men will be punished for their
own sins, and not for Adam’s transgression.” Notice it’s positioning in the ordering of
the articles, immediately after the Godhead, and before the Atonement of Christ.
I do not believe it was only a coincidence that personal accountability
falls between these two eternal precepts.
In
the last general conference, President Hinckley remarked, “When the Great
War in heaven was fought, Lucifer, the son of the morning, came forth with
a plan that was rejected. The Father
of us all, with love for us, offered a better plan under which we would have
freedom to choose the course of our lives.
He firstborn son, our Elder Brother, was the key to the plan. Man
would have his agency, and with that agency would go accountability. The challenge which faces every member of this
Church is to take the next step to accept that responsibility to which he
is called, even though he does not feel equal to it, and to do so in faith
with the full expectation that the Lord will light the way before him.”
Last year an American navy
submarine, the USS Greenville struck a Japanese fishing vessel while performing
an emergency surfacing drill off the coast of Honolulu. Nine people
aboard the fishing boat were killed as a result of that accident. Even though I rarely have time to watch television,
I was drawn to the live interviews with Commander Scott Waddle, before and
after his cross-examination by a Navy Court of Inquiry. I could not figure out what was captivating
my attention. Then suddenly the magnetism
became clear as I listened to his statement, “I accept full responsibility
and accountability for the actions of the crew of the USS Greenville,” he
said. “I am truly sorry for the loss
of life.” This acceptance of responsibility
by a public figure in our time is a rare occurrence. I’m convinced that recent acts of terrorism,
scandals accounting failures on Wall Street, war, divorce, sexual perversions,
and hatred originate with the failure of individuals to accept accountability
for their own actions.
Among
other factors, I believe our inability to honestly access personal accountability
comes from but is not limited to the following:
1.
Yielding to the temptations of Satan and his followers
2.
Self denial-self righteous behavior; the idea that we
are exempt because we are enlightened members of the Church. The whole armor
of God, the helmet, the breastplate, the shield, and girdle; offers protection
but does not make you invincible.
3.
Patterns of irresponsible behavior passed from one generation
to the next. For example, “It depends on what the definition of it is.”
4.
One-sided conversations during which we become the judge
and jury for others with whom when have no insight. The absurd notion that
anyone can read the mind of another.
5.
Selfishness and Pride-we are too full of pride to admit
our weaknesses.
6.
For a small number of individuals, they lack the cognitive/intellectual
ability to recognize right and wrong.
7.
Evil doers, those who have completely isolated themselves
from the light of Christ.
Neal A. Maxwell: “Agency in its fullest sense requires the individual
to be in command of himself, for one who is a prisoner of his bad impulses
can not really choose; another truth about things and they are, therefore,
is that we either control our bad impulses or they control us.”
Alma 42: 22-24 (Alma talking to his son Corianton):
“But there is a law given, and a punishment
affixed, and a repentance granted; which repentance, mercy claimeth; other
wise, justice claimeth the creature and executeth the law, and the law inflicteth
the punishment; if it were no so the works of justice would be destroyed,
and God would cease to be God. But God ceaseth not to be God, and mercy claimeth
the penitent, and mercy cometh because of the atonement; and the atonement
bringeth to pass the resurrection of the dead; and the resurrection of the
dead bringeth back men into the presence of God; and thus they are restored
into his presence, to be judged according to their works, according to the
law and justice. For behold, justice exerciseth all his demands, and also
mercy claimeth all which is her own; and thus, none but the truly penitent
are saved. What do ye suppose that
mercy can rob justice? I say unto you, nay; not one whit.”
I’m
not sure what Alma means by “not one whit”, but I recognize similar language
used by latter-day prophets, seers, and revelators. Listen to the plain and
simple phrases contained in the Proclamation on the Family:
- “Husbands and wife have
a solemn
responsibility to love and care for their children.”
- “Parents have a sacred duty
to rear their children in love and righteousness.”
- “Husbands and wives,
mothers and fathers – will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these
obligations.”
- “Fathers are to preside over their families in love and are responsible to provide the necessities of life.”
- “Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children.”
- “Fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.”
- “We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote
those measures.”
The
Family Proclamation could have just as easily been called “The Proclamation
on Accountability.”
Are
there circumstances that arise in our lives that become so oppressive and
difficult that no matter how resilient we are, we are entitled to blame others?
Karen Cluff Kimura was diagnosed with colon cancer
after the cancer had spread to other vital parts of her body. The delay came
because of a medical failure to make the proper diagnoses. As a result some
individuals suggested that she sue the doctors for malpractice. Instead she
said she wanted to spend the remaining time with her family and friends rather
than testifying at a trial. During
the little time she had left before she left this life, she taught her children
and corresponded with all of her family members.
She wrote letters which her children could open at important events
in their lives as they matured. She
sought to build up and strengthen rather than place blame or become cynical. She used her agency to take full responsibility
for each moment of the life she had left. Her family and friends have been
greatly blessed because of her positive, responsible decisions.
Dr.
Victor E. Frankl spent three years in Hitler’s Prison Camps. Even the extraordinarily degrading, dehumanizing
surroundings exemplified by Hitler's concentration camps could not deprive
captives of their most precious gift.
The experiences of [concentration]
camp life show that man does have a choice of action. . . . Man can
preserve a vestige of spiritual freedom, of independence of mind, even in
such terrible conditions of psychic and physical stress. . . .
Everything can be taken from
a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude
in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.
There were always
choices to make. Every day, every hour, offered the opportunity to make a
decision, a decision which determined whether you would or would not submit
to those powers which threatened to rob you of your very self, your inner
freedom; which determined whether or not you would become the plaything of
circumstance, renouncing freedom and dignity to become molded into the form
of the typical inmate. . . . The last inner freedom cannot be lost.
—Viktor Frankl, Man's Search
for Meaning
Dallin H. Oaks, "Free Agency and Freedom," address delivered
at the Third Annual Book of Mormon Symposium, Brigham Young University, 11
October 1987
“Because free agency is a God-given precondition
to the purpose of mortal life, no person or organization can take away our free
agency in mortality . . . What can be taken away or reduced by the
conditions of mortality is our freedom,
the power to act upon our choices. Free agency is absolute, but in the circumstances
of mortality freedom is always qualified.”
“Freedom may be qualified
or taken away by (1) physical laws, including the physical limitations with
which we are born, (2) by our own action, and (3) by the action of others,
including governments . . . A loss of freedom reduces the extent to which
we can act upon our choices, but it does not deprive us of our God-given free
agency . . .Many losses of freedom are imposed by others . . . Interferences
with our freedom do not deprive us of our free agency. When Pharaoh put Joseph
in prison, he restricted Joseph's freedom, but he did not take away his free
agency.”
Let’s
return to the question, if everyone is victim, who are the perpetrators? After
studying this phrase for nearly two years, I can tell you this, I still don’t
know what it means. I don’t know how
to define victim. However, I don’t think the definition of victim is someone
who is capable of making loud whining noises.
Just because you are loud and passionate, doesn’t make you right. I’m
not sure what constitutes a perpetrator, but my definition of a perpetrator
is some one who attempts to limit or rob our agency.
During our pre-earth life,
a fierce war was fought to establish free agency as the pivotal principle
in the plan of salvation. Countless
sons and daughters were lost. Our Father
in Heaven gave his only begotten Son to preserve our agency. Hand in hand
with the atonement walks accountability. The atonement of Christ is a concept
we do not fully understand, but I believe in large part, it demonstrates accountability
between the Father and Son. Self denial
is an enormous waste of time. Promoting
oneself to victim status does not bring relief.
Membership does have it privileges, but doesn’t exempt anyone from
accountability. Until the books of life are opened, examined, and judgment
is past we must keep repenting because, “justice exerciseth all his demands.”
My
counsel today is take advantage of the priceless gift of agency. Determine your own attitude, no matter what
circumstances. When someone cuts you
off on the highway of life, smile and wave as you travel to your destination.
When responsibility comes your way, accept it.
As you and I embrace accountability and take control of our thoughts,
actions, and emotions, our faith will increase and we will be happy, which
is God’s desire and the very object of our creation.
In
conclusion, my personal belief and testimony is eloquently expressed by the
words of James Allen, in his book, As a Man Thinketh.
“Man is made or unmade
by himself. In the armory of thought he forges the weapons by which he destroys
himself. He also fashions the tools with which he builds for himself heavenly
mansions of joy and strength and peace. By the right choice and true application
of thought, man ascends to the divine perfection. By the abuse and wrong application
of thought he descends below the level of the beast. Between these two extremes
are all the grades of character, and man is their maker and master.”
“Of all the beautiful truths
pertaining to the soul which have been restored and brought to light in this
age, none is more gladdening or fruitful of divine promise and confidence
than this—that man is the master of thought, the molder of character, and
the maker and shaper of condition, environment, and destiny.”
“As a being of power, intelligence, and love…. man
holds key to every situation, and contains within himself that transforming
and regenerative agency by which he may make himself what he wills. Man is
always the master, even in his weakest and most abandoned state.”